Posted at 05:11
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It's 5AM. And it's 27 December 2011 today.
2011 is coming to an end.
I've had enough of pain.
How does it feel like to completely move on? I don't know.. Because how do you meausure things like that? I thought of you on Christmas. To be honest, I think of you every day. Sometimes, it will be a few seconds and sometimes.. for hours.
I know I'm at the final stage of letting go. Because I've stopped picturing us that often. I've reduced the amount of time spent thinking of what you're doing and whether you're okay.
And I think I've accepted the fact that you've completely moved on, and you probably don't even think of me.
The Korea trip.. Made me really happy. Because I was able to divert the attention to someone else. But now that I'm back, things are different.
Most of my friends are already working/ going to start school soon. Me..? Still lazing around and aimless. I just hope I find a job really soon..
I'm tired of crying at night. When everywhere is quiet.. And peaceful. What an irony huh.
Time. Time heals everything.
"Cuz if you're happy in your head then solitude is blessed and alone is okay."
Sunday, 18 December 2011
Posted at 02:46
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"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together." -Marilyn monroe
I think 17 is a magical number. My O level score, 17 dec 2010: when you first lied to me and i couldn't stop crying for days,17 oct 2011: when you told me that things changed. Everything fell apart. And today, 17 december 2011: I'll be leaving for Korea, and you're already gone.
Thank you for all the beautiful and painful memories. I know i've been saying this for the past 2 weeks. But i'm going to say it again. It's time to truly, truly let go.
x
Probably the last post before i leave for Korea tomorrow. Mixed emotions.
“Let your tears flow and where they go, let your sorrows follow.” -Dodinsky
Goodbye
Posted at 01:56
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I guess the main reason why everything happened was that you are in love with someone else.
Broke down again when i saw what you wrote. Started blaming myself for not being good enough. Not pretty enough. Not skinny enough. I was so silly. I actually thought that by writing stupid letters to you will actually help. No. Obviously it didn't.
You know what? Enough of lying to myself. Enough of "Oh i dont mind reading his updates" and "We can still meet up and be friends!" Enough. Accept the fact. And just shut up, A.
Had a great time shopping with my girls today.. Was smiling all the way till i saw his tweets, again. I swear, this will be the last time I'll get upset over him. Come on A, it has been 2 freaking months. Just move on.
x
Sis got admitted to the hospital. Just came back from KK hosp & that was the first time i alighted at Little India station alone at night. Glad that she's feeling better now. Praying hard that she'll be alright & we'll get to travel to Korea together! *fingers crossed
x
Yup, pretty much spent the night thinking about.. life.
Like what i really want in life and how to make it meaningful. I'm still clueless though.. still searching, still figuring out. Thank god I've all the time in the world right now..
Chanced upon this quote, 靠山山道，靠人人跑，靠自己最好"
My greatest flaws: too emotional,too dependent and lack of self-confidence.
Baby, won't you tell me why There is sadness in your eyes I don't wanna say goodbye to you Love is one big illusion I should try to forget But there is something left in my head
You're the one who set it up Now you're the one to make it stop I'm the one who's feeling lost right now Now you want me to forget every little thing you said But there is something left in my head
I won't forget the way you're kissing The feelings so strong were lasting for so long But I'm not the man your heart is missing That's why you go away I know
You were never satisfied no matter how I tried Now you wanna say goodbye to me Love is one big illusion I should try to forget But there is something left in my head
Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere Don't know which way to go There is so much to say now between us There ain't so much for you There ain't so much for me anymore
#nowplaying That's why, by MLTR
Sunday, 11 December 2011
Posted at 03:09
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"The world is not the most pleasant place. Eventually your parents leave you and nobody is going to go all out of their way to protect you unconditionally. You need to learn to stand up for yourself and what you believe and sometimes, pardon my language, kick some ass."
I mean, yes. Life is great and perfect now. Perfect.. as in i get to rest and slack all i can to the extent that i find it tiring. I find it really ironic bcuz a year ago, i didn't want school to start. I wanted to enjoy my holidays and didn't want to touch my books at all. But right now, I have all the time in the world and i'm actually sick of it..
My first job interview with the agency was quite futile today. Think i had too many requirements and the person in charge was kinda pissed :/
Oh well.. hopefully i can work with Meliz at Mediacorp in Jan! :)
Thursday, 8 December 2011
Posted at 22:38
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My official first post here.
Clean page, and a fresh new start.
Think i'll be changing my url though! heartfeltnote without the 's' seems kinda weird haha.
And it has been 3 years since i left blogger.. but it's okay! Now i'm back :)
My next few posts:
1) Summary of 2011
2) The gratitude post
3) Pictures *cik cak!*
